In this paper, a numerical approach with an experimental validation is introduced for modelling high-speed metal grinding processes in 6061-T6 aluminum alloys. The derivation of the present numerical method starts with an establishment of a stabilized particle Galerkin approximation. A non-residual penalty term from strain smoothing is introduced as a means of stabilizing the particle Galerkin method. Additionally, second-order strain gradients are introduced to the penalized functional for the regularization of damage-induced strain localization problem. To handle the severe deformation in metal grinding simulation, an adaptive anisotropic Lagrangian kernel is employed. Finally, the formulation incorporates a bond-based failure criterion to bypass the prospective spurious damage growth issues in material failure and cutting debris simulation. A three-dimensional metal grinding problem is analyzed and compared with the experimental results to demonstrate the effectiveness and accuracy of the proposed numerical approach.